Koleksi Lawak ! Lol

[teri-chan 5]

Surat luahan hati seorang lelaki...

Kepada.....ayang.

Valentine hari tu ayang tanya tang mane kite sayang kat ayang.

Time tu kite tak dapat nak jawab. Semalam ayang merajuk ngan kite,
kite dah penat nak layan. Ayang call kat kite kite malas nak jawab.
Tang mane erk kite sayang kat ayang? Semalaman kite duk pk soalan
tu. Pernah ke? Maybe tak sedalam cinta Titanic atau Taj Mahal. Sayang kite kat ayang sangatlah kerdil. Sebab tu la ayang selalu merajuk erk? Tak tahulah, setahu kite:

1. Sebelum kite kenal kat ayang, setiap sem kite dapat Anugerah Dekan. Bile dah kenal ngan ayang, setiap sem kite repeat paper. Sebelum kenal ngan ayang kite belajar pakai duit biasiswa, lepas kenal ngan ayang, keluar makan lagi nak mintak duit ngan emak kite.

2. Kalau ade 1 buah epal, kite bagi je kat ayang. Kalau ade 2 buah epal, kita bagi yang besar kat ayang.

3. Kalau kite makan ikan, ayang makan tang badan ikan tu, kite pula makan tang kepala ikan tu je.

4. Ayang ni tak la cun sangat, tapi kite tak pernah kutuk ayang tak cun. Tapi kite yang hensem ni ayang lagi nak kutuk ngan member depan kite, kata kite tak hensem langsung. Eera Fazira berlalu depan mata, kite diam je. Takut kalau puji kang ayang marah. Mat Indon duk depan Sogo ayang gi ngorat time kite gi tandas. Siap mintak nombor tepon depan kite lagi.

5. Kalau keluar ngan ayang, ayang slambe nak makan Starbucks, kite tipu kite dah kenyang, padahal bile dah sampai kat umah kite makan mee maggi.

6. Sebelum kenal ngan ayang., kite tak pernah ade girlfriend. Selepas ayang kenal ngan kite, genaplah koleksi ayang ada 20 boyfriend kesemuanya. Kite tak pernah marah ayang playgirl, dah tu ayang kata kite cam sami buddha.

7. Ayang selalu pukul dada kite, tampar muka kite, cubit peha kite, kite tak pernah tengking sekali pun, apatah lagi nak cubit, nak tampar, nak pukul?

8. Pernah ayang tanya kalau ayang jatuh cinta ngan laki lain, kite nak buat ape. Kite kate kite nak bunuh laki tu. Tapi bile kite tanya kalau kite jatuh cinta kat pompuan lain, ayang nak buat ape, ayang kata nak bunuh kite, emak kite, ayah kite ngan nenek kite.

9. Kite beli mask Clinique ngan ayang harga RM300 kite kate harga RM30. Ayang beli jam tangan kat kite harga RM30 ayang kate harga RM300.

10. Setiap kali berjumpe kite bagi hadiah kat ayang, tapi setiap tahun birthday kite ayang kate dah lupe.

11. Kite rosakkan headphone walkmen ayang, kite ganti satu discman baru. Ayang rosakkan kerete kite, ayang buat derk je.

12. Sekali ayang demam, kite kene diet 2kg nak jaga ayang. Sekali kite demam, ayang tambah berat 2kg sebab abiskan makanan kite.

13. Kite tak pernah kata ayang pendek, ayang marah kite tinggi sangat, member ayang ketawakan ayang.

14. Ayang datang umah kite, kite tido sofa, kite datang umah ayang, kite gak yang tido kat sofa.

15. Mak kite belikan rantai Tiffany ngan ayang. Mak ayang tak pernah ajak kite makan kat umah ayang walau sekalipun.

16. Kucing umah kite bersalin, kite bagi anak kucing yang paling cute kat ayang, 2 hari je ayang bela, kucing tu dah mati. Ayang tak kate pa pe pun. Ayang bagi ikan emas yang dah dekat mati kat kite, 2 hari kite bela dah mati. Ayang kata nak bunuh semua anak kucing kite.

17. Ayang kalau nak pakai duit kite, terus ambil takyah bagitau. 30 ke 8 0 ke seratus ke selagi wallet kite ade duit. Aritu kite nak pinjam 10 ringgit sebab terlupe bawa wallet, ayang kate kite kedekut.

18. Birthday ayang kite tak pernah terlupe. Birthday kite arini ayang tak pernah ingat.

*********************************

Perbualan seorg Boifren dlm telefon...

<<<RING>>>>

Hello sayang...

kenapa sayang tak nak angkat tepon bila abg call handset sayang tadi... janganlah sayang merajuk lelama sangat, betui... abg tersangatlah rindu kat sayang..... walaupun muka abg ni agak macho dan comel.... janganlah sayang jeles kat abg kalau-kalau ada awek lain yang asyik pandang-pandang dan senyum-senyum kat abg masa kita gi dating.... biasa la tuh...

Apa...tak muat...??? kan sayang dah test cincin tu masa kat kedai emas apek tu tadi... apsal la tak muat pulaks.... janganlah sayang risau.... duit cincin yang sayang bayarkan tadi..esok-esok abg bayarla balik kat sayang..... sayang pun sedia maklum....abg bukannya takde duit.. tapi duit tu abg dah belikan graphic card baru kat pc abg.... RAM pun abg dah beli yg baru... tambah lagi sekeping...kasi power sikit.... tu belum masuk nak tukar harddisk baru lagi tuh....

Abg tau sayang marah sebab abg yang selamba katak jer... melompat longkang depan kedai apek tu tadi... tanpa menunggu sayang melintas titi.... bukan abg tak gentleman.. tapi abg cuma memeriksa kalau-kalau ada bahaya di seberang sana.... maafkan abg...tobat.. lain kali abg tak buat lagi.......
Kes masa makan kat kedai mamak tu tadi...sorry la... abg ingatkan nak test jer mee goreng sayang tuh..... soksek..soksek...masa sayang gi toilet.. tak perasan pulak..dah abih... sedaaaaaaappppp....!! tapi kan abg dah ganti ngan roti canai kosong abg?? tak sedap ker roti canai kosong tuhh??? udah ler tu... .janganla merajuk lama lama...

Oh yaa..!! henset kita ni kita tukar dulu la yee... abg pinjam jaap henset sayang... nanti abg tukaq la balik.... sayangkan ader handbag besar..senang nak simpan henset abg yg besar tu... Hehehehe .! . henset sayang kecik...buleh abg simpan dalam kocek abg...

Betuuuul...........! semalam abg dah booked tiket citer Salon tuh... abg ingat la kan... cashier cineplex tu lupa nak key in dalam komputer dia la... pasal tu la tiket dah abis..... lagi satu....sampin dan songkok ayah sayang yang abg pinjam utk hariraya aritu... kira pinjam terus la yee.... boleh gaks guna masa ari nikah kita esok-esok... bukan abg taknak beli baru... tapi sayang la...benda elok lagi... buat apa nak beli baru kannn... tapi sayang jgn bagitau kat ayah sayang plaks... ayah sayang sure tak pasan punya sebab nanti abg dye la sampin tu ngan kaler lain....

Buat masa ni motor abg masih dlm wokshop.. ntah apa ntah pomen tu buat tak siap-siap lagi... jadi Gen2 sayang ni...kira abg pakai dulu la yee utk pergi keje... sayang bukan tak tau... tempat keje abg kan jauh... sayang pergi keje naik LRT pun bolehh........! ...

Lagi satuu.... besok sampai kat opis sayang nanti.....sayang tlg bank-in kan RM300 kat akaun abg ye... bukan apa...Gen2 sayang ni kuat mentekedarah minyakk betuii... motor kapcai abg pun tak camni...

Okeyla sayang...dah cakap lama ni... jgn lupa top up kan prepaid abg nii... esok2 senang abg nak call sayang lagi...

bye-byee.... Edited December 6, 2008 by teri-chan

[comat 0]

ehhehehe firstly, biar aku yang start.. hari tu, aku jalan2 tersepak batu dan jatuh.. punyalah malu aku.. nenek mak cik pakcik seme ade... hahaha lawak tak.. he2

wa2 lawaknya.

[teri-chan 5]

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living
room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new ress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I
can stay up by myself.

[fx_5200 0]

huhuhu lawak gak teri-chan

[ajibs 0]

mmg besh.. lawak teri chan..
mana dpt tu

[teri-chan 5]

Pay Increment
Read this.... if you are not getting any pay increment, do not complain!

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the
company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his
manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his manager his
observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down
saying,"My friend, you have not worked here for even one day." The man was
surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- How many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours ie. 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 - 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many
days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that
14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the National holiday?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I understood Sir! Thank you sir for all the money you have been giving
me for not having worked a single day!

[teri-chan 5]

Very Shocking.... .

This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in
Penang. Her name was Ai Ling. She was hit by a truck.

She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Tony.

Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone. She used to
be never found without her handphone.

In fact she also changed her network from Maxis to Digi, so that both of
them can be on the same network, and save on the cost. Even when Tony left
overseas to finish his masters, they constantly kept in touch.

She used to spend half of the day talking with Tony.
Ai Ling's family knew about their relationship.. Tony was very close to Ai
Ling's family as well. (Just
imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends
'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same
thing to her parents.

After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so,
but still cant everybody that had tried to carry the body, the results were
the same.

Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can
speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.

He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone.

He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily
and they then carried her into the van.

All of us were shocked. Ai Ling's parents did not inform Tony that Ai Ling
had passed away as they're waiting for him to come home after his
graduation..

After 2 weeks Tony returned and called Ai Ling's mom.......

Tony:....'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't
tell Ai Ling that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'
Her mother replied..... 'come home first, I wanna tell you something very
important.'

After he came, they told him the truth about Ai Ling.
Tony thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't
try to fool me - tell Ai Ling to come out, i have a gift for her... Please
stop this nonsense'.

Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him
proof to make him believe. (Tony started to sweat) He said... 'Its not
true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.
Tony was shaking.

Suddenly, Tony's phone rang. 'see this is from Ai Ling, see this....' he
showed the phone to Ai Ling's family. all of them told him to answer. he
talked using the loudspeaker mode.

All of them heard his conversation. It is the actual voice of Ai Ling &
there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the
grave box!

They were so shocked and asked for the same person's (who can speak with
the soul of dead persons) help again. He brought his master to solve this
matter.

He & his master worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing which
really shocked them....












Digi 'I will follow you!!!'

[nurul_h5 0]

Lawak budi bahasa


Seorang gadis cantik menaiki LRT yang sangat penuh sesak. Gadis itu berdiri betul betul didepan seorang pemuda. Seketika kemudian pemuda itu bangun, namun belum sempat pemuda itu
berkata apa apa, gadis cantik itu menolak pemuda itu dengan lembut ke tempat duduknya sambil berkata, "Terima kasih, saya lebih suka berdiri". Pemuda itu tercengang dengan penuh kehairanan.
Dia sedikit jengkil kerana ditolak oleh gadis itu walaupun secara lembut. Pemuda itu pun berdiri semula tetapi sekali lagi gadis cantik itu menolaknya duduk semula dan berkata dengan
sedikit kuat hingga didengari oleh lain lain penumpang, "Tak apa, tak payah susah susah, saya lebih suka berdiri." Tanpa putus asa pemuda itu berdiri lagi untuk kali yang ketiga sambil menjerit,
"Woii cik kak !! Saya nak turun laaaaa!!! Saya dah terlepas perhentian saya tau !!? Apa punya perasan lah dia ni?!!!"

[teri-chan 5]

huahuahua!! ini mmg lawak...

[Masterpiece 10]

haha..

[teri-chan 5]

later mlm aku post lg lawak baru

[fx_5200 0]

teri-chan, kata nak post lawak baru

[teri-chan 5]

jp2... terlupe hehehhe

kinda lame.. but here we go..

Lee Sum Wan : Hello can i speak to Annie Wan

Mr Sori : Yes u could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan: No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!

Mr Sori : You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Lee Sum Wan : Im Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.

Mr Sori : I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?

Lee Sum Wan : Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr Sori : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!

Lee Sum Wan : You are rude. Who are you?

Mr Sori : Im Sori.

Lee Sum Wan : You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Mr Sori : Im Sori!!

Lee Sum Wan : I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your name!

Mr Sori : Look lady, I told you already Im Sori! Im Sori!! Im SORI !!!
You didnt even give me your name!

Lee Sum Wan : I told u before im Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the co. He is Noe Buddy.

Mr Sori : Oh im so scared (sarcastically). Look i dont care about ur uncle he's a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.

Lee Sum Wan : No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't work there.

Mr Sori : Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws verybody
and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!

Lee Sum Wan : Wheech Wan is my sis!

Mr. Sori : I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i
do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i'll oadcast
it on the P.A system saying. "Attention, someone called and said that
anyones brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if u're their uncle, u're a nobody. "how bout that!?

Toot....Toot....Toot.................

[fx_5200 0]

huhuhu lawak2, masalah nama tu la

[teri-chan 5]

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

************************************************************
**
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

************************************************************
**
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

************************************************************
**
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

************************************************************
**
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

************************************************************
**
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

************************************************************
**
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

************************************************************
**
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

************************************************************
**
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

************************************************************
**
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

************************************************************
**
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

************************************************************
**
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

************************************************************
**
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

************************************************************
**
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

************************************************************
**
Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

************************************************************
**
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

************************************************************
**
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

************************************************************
**
Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".

************************************************************
**
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

************************************************************
**
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

************************************************************
**
Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

************************************************************
**
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

************************************************************
**
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

[no1 12]

wahahaha...lol..

[fx_5200 0]

huhuhu dari tadi gelak.

[teri-chan 5]

This is serious man!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something for u to digest!

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady forty miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at
her and speaks in a clear voice.

"Darling," he says. "I know we've been married for twenty years,
but I want a divorce."


The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly
increases her speed to 45 mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out
of it,"he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,
and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more
tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 mph.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently. Up to
60 mph.

"I want the car, too," he continues. 65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards
and the boat."
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.

This makes him a wee bit nervous, so he asks her: "Isn't there
anything you want?"

The wife at last replies - in a quiet and controlled voice. "No,
I've got
everything I need." she says.

"Oh, really?" he inquires, "So what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 75 mph, the wife turns to
him and smiles.


...."The airbag."....

Never underestimate how a woman thinks.

Moral of the story:
Buy Toyota VIOS as it has only one airbag (for driver only). The
husband sure die and wife gets everything! So, for a husband don't buy a
Vios today....

Husbands, pls be insured but.. think twice on MCIS insurance cover
Know why?

" M.C.I.S "= Mati Cepat Isteri Senang

[no1 12]

haha merosot ler jualan Vios pas nih..

[teri-chan 5]

CINTA ITU BUTA....

Seorang lelaki buta memasuki sebuah restoran. Amin, pemilik restoran itu
juga berperanan sebagai pelayan mendatanginya dan menghulurkan menu.

"Saya orang buta dan saya tak boleh membaca menu.Tolong bawakan sudu kotor
yang telah dipakai oleh pengunjung sebelumnya dan saya akan menciumnya. Dari
situ nanti saya tahu masakan apa yang enak untuk dipesan," kata lelaki buta
tersebut.

Amin mengumpulkan beberapa sudu bekas dipakai yang ada dan memberikannya
kepada lelaki tersebut. Ia mencium sudu itu dan akhirnya berkata, "Saya
pesan ikan pais dan sayur masak asam bang"............

Dengan agak terperanjat Amin mencatat pesanan lelaki buta itu. Menu itu
memang menjadi kegemaran para pengunjung restoran tersebut. Beberapa hari
kemudian lelaki buta tersebut datang lagi. Sekali lagi dia minta sudu bekas
dipakai untuk dicium, tetapi bukan yang habis dipakai utk makan ikan pais
dan sayur masak asam. Hanya ada satu sudu yang habis dipakai untuk makan
menu lainnya.

Amin memberikannya
kepada lelaki buta tersebut yang kemudian memcium sudu itu dan berkata,
"Bau sudu yang ini sedap juga, seperti
habis diguna untuk makan ayam
bakar dengan sayur ulam dan sambal
belacan." Amin mengiyakan dan si
lelaki buta memesan makanan tersebut.

Lelaki buta itu untuk ketiga kalinya datang semula beberapa hari kemudian.
Dia datang lebih awal ketika belum
ada satupun pengunjung yang datang sehingga tidak ada sudu bekas diguna yang
boleh diberikan untuk dihidu. Entah dari mana datangnya, tiba-tiba sifat
nakal bodoh Amin muncul. Dia menghampiri isterinya yang berperanan
sebagai tukang masak di dapur. Diberikannya satu sudu dan berkata, "Yati,
kamu usapkan sudu ini di
ketiak kamu"

"Apa-apa lah abang ni ?" tanya Yati tak faham.

"Sudahlah ikut je lahhhh, untuk kemajuan restoran kita," kata Amin setengah
memaksa. Yati menurut, mengusapkan sudu tersebut di "ketiak! nya" dan
menyerahkan kembali kepada Amin.

Dibawanya sudu tersebut ke lelaki buta yang duduk menunggu. Lelaki buta
itupun menghidu sudu itu, dengan
mengernyitkan keningnya, lelaki buta
tersebut berkata, "Aku tidak menyangka makwe lamaku Yati bekerja di
sini....... boleh saya jumpa dia"

Amin: ???????????? ????.(bengang)
Sesungguhnya Cinta itu Butaaaaaa... ......... .........

hehehe... ............. ......

*******************

Janda 18 Tahun

Ada sorang duda anak 2 yang tinggal di sebuah kampung. Duda ni nama dia Amat. Amat ni dah 3 tahun menduda hi.. setelah kematian isterinya.


Pada satu hari , Amat yang dah lama kesepian terfikir kenapakah dia tidak mencari pengganti arwah isterinya, ada jugak yang akan menjaga dirinya nanti, fikirnya lagi. Amat pun cuba la merisik-risik dengan kekawannya, manala tau kekawannya ada calon yg sesuai.


Usin, kawan karibnya yang mendengar berita itu segera datang berjumpa dengan Amat kerana dia ada calon yg sesuai untuk Amat. Amat sungguh gembira bila mengetahui calon yang Usin nak rekomenkan adalah janda 18 thn. Beria-ia benar Usin supaya Amat menerima pilihannya.


"Nak ke dia kat aku yg dah tua ni , Sin ??" tanya Amat.


"Kau tu pun bukannya tua sangat Mat, baru 36 thn, rupa pun hensem lagi apa!" kata Usin membodek Amat. "Tapi....kalau aku boleh jalankan, boleh tak kau bagi aku pinjamkan RM500 ?? Aku nak pakai duit la.." kata Usin lagi.


"Jangankan RM500, RM1000 pun aku boleh bagi kalau betul kau boleh jalankan.. tak payah pinjam" kata Amat tanpa berfikir panjang. Usin pun segera berlalu dengan gembira bila memikirkan janji Amat.


"Kau tak payah susah2, semua aku uruskan, kau tau siap" janji Usin kepada Amat.


Dipendekkan cerita tiba la hari yang ditunggu2 oleh Amat, hari dimana dia akan disatukan dengan isterinya yang baru, Leha nama bakal isteri Amat. Hari tu Amat sungguh segak dengan pakaian untuk upacara akad nikah dengan Usin disebelah sebagai pengapit yang memanjang tersenyum setelah koceknya berisi wang RM500 pemberian Amat.


Amat segera terbayangkan saat2 indah yang bakal dilalui bersama isteri barunya nanti. Sampai saja di rumah pengantin perempuan, Amat disambut meriah siap dengan paluan kompang lagi. Para tetamu menyambut Amat dengan senyum lebar.


Siap sahaja majlis akad nikah , tiba la masa yang dinanti2 oleh Amat, iaitu untuk bertemu dengan isterinya. Amat pun dijemput untuk masuk ke dalam bilik pengantin untuk upacara membatalkan air sembahyang.


Tapi alangkah terkejutnya Amat bila didapati seorang perempuan tua yang layak digelar nenek sedang menantinya dengan senyuman yang sungguh menggoda. Amat mulanya merasakan itu hanyala satu gurauan dari pihak pengantin perempuan namun bila mak andam beria-ia menyuruh nenek itu mencium tangan Amat, baru la Amat sedar itula isterinya yang selama ini dibayangkan seorang janda muda 18thn.


"Usinnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!" jerit Amat sambil berlari keluar mencari Usin. Usin yang ketika itu sedang menjamu selera terkejut beruk mendengar jeritan Amat. " Kau tipu aku Sinnnn!!!" jerit Amat sambil mencekik leher Usin.


"Tipu apa plak???" tanya Usin bingung.


"Kau kata 18thn!!!!" balas Amat.


"La...bukan umur dia yang aku maksudkan 18thn...tapi dia dah menjanda 18thn!!!"


"Mintak balik duit akuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!" Edited December 9, 2008 by teri-chan

[nurul_h5 0]

hahahaha sian laki 2...............

[no1 12]

haha... ni kes2 salah phm r nih..

[fx_5200 0]

haha lawak tol

[teri-chan 5]

(sung to the tune of "Sejahtera Malaysia")



"Puji dan syukur pada Ilahi

Anugerahnya tiada terhingga

Sayang sekali, jerebu kat sini

Malaysiaku tak bahagia



Dengan tekad untuk gi kerja

Tapi malang, sakitnya kepala

Dahlah bad mood, sesak nafas juga

Bencinya jerebu ini



Seia sekata sehati sejiwa

Hentikan pembakaran

Indeks AP naik lagi

Apalah yang terjadi



Bersemarak ladang Indonesia

Minta maaf pun tak ada guna

Tak kesian ke jiranmu adikmu

Sampai hati korang buat cam ni..."

[nurul_h5 0]

haahahaha.............dengar org indon amuk die...........
alamak ader org indon ke kt cini??????????sorry Edited December 11, 2008 by nurul_h5