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Hitman66

Hell Explained By A Chemistry Student

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HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a

University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The

answer by one student was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,

which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats

when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is

changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving

into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I

think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets

to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are

leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at

the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a

member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since

there is more than one of these religions and since

people do not belong to more than one religion, we can

project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in

Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the

volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls

are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate

at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and

pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks

loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and

pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day

in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account

the fact that I slept with her last night, then number

two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any

more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only

Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being

which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

"Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

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